Happy Birthday Christopher and Alyshia!
Mmm…I just ate half a steak burrito from Chipotle….
This morning I got the priviledge of doing hall duty during the ACT’s…fun fun.
Saturday evening I went and saw my friend Ruth in Colorado Academy’s production of “Seussical, the Musical”- it was fun, they did good, but I still think Kennedy does a better job for plays and musicals.
After the musical, while Ruth went to her cast party, I went over to her parents house and hung out talking for several hours….it was really nice to just sit and talk.
Anyway, not much has been going on in my life…this post pretty much gets you caught up. Oh, and thanks for those of you who commented on the ‘defense mechanisms’ post, I appreciate it when people take part in my blog…
A couple of weeks ago I found myself in a social situation where I was not very comfortable…trying to step out of my comfort zone, that evening I had decided to go to this group despite the feeling of dread that would creep up anytime I thought about it. I went into this group where I had no close friends, but in which there are several people whose eyes seem to say “You don’t belong….why are you here?” anytime I see them (even outside of this setting)….As the evening progressed, things never got better, but instead got worse…not only did I not fit in, but I dared to leave behind their ‘norm’ and challenge their paradigm verbally… those who know me well know that this is out of character for me, to speak up in any new group I’m in, yet I felt compelled…but alas, my lack of experience in verbally defending my position teamed up with my nervousness of being surrounded by ‘hostile forces’ and attacked me, leaving me choking on my own words as I looked at the disdainful faces surrounding me…After a vain attempt at explaining what I meant, I gave up…I had failed miserably, and sunk into silence once again…
So after this conversation passed, I found myself still sitting with this group as they chattered away, talking about this and that, and I felt myself the social outcast….oh, what was I to do? How would I make it through the end of the night without creating another scene?
Looking back at this situation and others like it, I noticed a trend, not in them, but in me. I was able to identify that my defense mechanism, my way of putting up a wall to avoid any more hurt or embarrassment in these situations, is to pull out my cellphone. In the days when my phone plan still included beaucoup text messages at a very low price, I would begin text messaging my various friends, and as soon as one of my friends would respond, I would spend the entire meal (as generally these socially akward situations arise while eating out) typing witty little remarks, ignoring all those around me. This held a two-fold purpose. First, it helped to keep me occupied without having to interact with those I felt rejected by. Secondly, I guess it made me feel like I was sending those who rejected me the message ‘I don’t need you. See? I have plenty of other friends to talk to, even if they aren’t here physically.’ Now, the days of text messaging are over for me. So what do I do in these situations? I still pull out my phone. Suddenly the calendar on my phone is the most interesting thing in the world….I begin deleting old appointments and scheduling new…”buy birthday card for Bobby”, “Chavurah at 7pm”, “do laundry”, “feed fudge to a squirrel”…anything to avoid having to take an active part in the conversation of those surrounding me….So, if you’re ever out to eat and see me at a crowded table, and I’m staring intently at my phone, do me a favor. Rescue me, and I will be forever grateful.
So now we get to the interactive part of my blog… Do you have defense mechanisms you use when you find yourself in uncomfortable situations? Tell me about it in my comments section.
Not much going on here….Passover is over, I’m counting the omer….2 siblings had birthdays this week….Liberated Wailing Wall will be at my congregation this weekend…I’m working on getting things ready in my computer lab for the 87 kids who will be coming over from East High School to take the AP Spanish test, hoping that the recording and everything will go smoothly, unlike the year we did the AP Music Theory test in here (it was a pain, and there were only 7 kids)… Oh, and for some reason I’ve been really cold lately, and last night I didn’t sleep well….I’ll be seeing “Seussical, the Musical” this weekend at Colorado Academy…k, I think that’s it.
*sigh* It always feels so good when you resolve a conflict and get rid of the tension between you and the other person….
Okay, here’s a real post…be warned, it was a busy 5 days!
Wednesday after work I went to the Brands for their home seder. Once there, I helped set the table, cook matzoball soup, etc. There were about 30 people in attendance, most of which were kids, so we used a children’s haggadah, with such rousing songs as ‘bang, bang, bang’ Much fun was had by all, even if Ruth kept making fun of me…
Thursday morning I went to the shachrit service at shul, which was
really good. After a short time back at home, I headed back to the
shul to help set up the tables for our Congregational seder. Our
Congegational seder is, in Burt’s words, “500 of our closest friends
coming for dinner”…It was lots of fun, and I only know of 3 or 4 people who set something on fire during the night….
Friday I got to sleep in (yay!), then went over to the Youngs because it was Jonathan’s birthday. I hung out up until it was time for shul.
After shul, we actually had oneg again, as we finally finished the renovation of the kitchen/oneg area, just in time for Pesach. Matza-pizza! Whoo-hoo!
After the mikveh, I hung out for a little bit, then headed back over to the Youngs for Jonathan’s birthday dinner.
When I went to leave around midnight, I realized that I had left my purse at shul…and my purse had the keys to my apartment. Bah! So I had to stay at the Youngs that night, and rush to the shul in the morning, pick up my purse, rush home to shower and change, and rush back for service….
Then, more matza-pizza! You’d think I’d get sick of it, but I haven’t yet….
After shul I went over to Swedish Hospital to visit Anna, Scott, and their new baby boy, who was born Friday morning…I don’t know if they’ve named him yet, they hadn’t as of Saturday afternoon….Anyway, here’s a picture of the handsome little guy:
Saturday evening we didn’t have our regular Chavurah, so I went to the 16-25 year old Chavurah at shul…and ended up arguing with the leaders…yeah, if you really want to know, talk to me later…Needless to say, I didn’t have much fun, and ended up pretty stressed.
Sunday afternoon we had our Omer Rayshit service. (Our Congregation always starts the count of the omer the day after the literal Sabbath, or on Sunday, rather than the day after the festival Sabbath, although many of us count both ways and celebrate both.) It went very well, it was exciting to have so many people reading the liturgical prayers that so many seem to look down on…I for one love the prayers in the siddur, as they all have so much meaning…the majority of them are direct quotes from scripture, and those that aren’t are usually a summation of themes found in scripture….After the service we had another mikveh, this time two women from the shul. Then into the oneg for more matza-pizza…I think tonight I’m gonna cook some chicken.
Anyway, there’s a short recap of the weekend. Yes, that’s short, considering how much I could have written….Anyway, chag sameach, everyone! Enjoy the rest of Pesach!